The working mom struggle.
The hardest part about being a working mom is wondering if the occasional sick days will affect my company winning a piece of new business. It’s not about missing tiny moments because as a society, we have all come to the conclusion that we aren’t missing anything anymore. We are leaning in hard to quality over quantity and that philosophy has helped me nurture relationships with both of my children now more than ever. Thirty minutes of raw, unedited conversation with my third grader is 100% more valuable than ten minutes of distracted play. Trust me…I’ve been there enough to know.
So how did we get on this topic? Well, ever since November of 2019, our Olivia has been experiencing chronic abdominal pain. I’ll skip to the punch line - she’s totally fine and we are on the mend - but for the last 60+ days she was in pain, I was getting calls to pick her up and she was running through every test under the sun including peds and GI visits to X-rays and ultrasounds. Always a trooper, my Olivia handled it with a champion attitude. No surprises there.
The real point of this conversation here is: how do we handle mom guilt and work guilt? I kept running through the questions in my head:
Will he/she think I am a flake for rescheduling this meeting?
Should I tell them the truth? My kid is sick?! <cliffnotes: I told them the truth>
Will I lose the business?
Do they believe me? Is this inappropriate?
Will everything I worked for be discredited because my child’s health is my #1 priority?
The good news is, I didn’t lose any business for the numerous sick days and spontaneous nurse phone calls during SPIN class. Instead, people were incredibly empathetic and wished her positive vibes. After all, everyone knows my family thanks to my social media efforts on my personal feed. <are you following me?> Women at my fitness studio handed me holistic health physician contacts, my clients DM’d me and as one follower so aptly put it, “If a prospect doesn’t want to do business with you because your kid is sick…they are not the right client for your business.”
Well that’s an “aha” moment if I’ve ever heard one. So why are we so hard on ourselves? Men don’t operate under this mindset.
Isn’t it a known fact that most households need dual income to support their families and more importantly, don’t we work not only because it fills our soul but so that we can actually give our children MORE out of life? That was our philosophy at least. Still is.
So…what did I do with all this couch time and gatorade? I empowered myself to be around women who not only get it but live and lift each other up. Like really walk the walk. I will give you two easy resources that will change your work week and one incredible thought leader that will start your day on a positive note!
I applied to the Female Founder Collective created by Rebecca Minkhoff. Getting accepted was the best ending to my 2019.
I finally joined the Hey Mama chapter in Chicago.
I begin my mornings with Rachel Hollis. She is an amazing life coach.
And that guilt? It still lingers but I’ve pushed it over to the parking lot because family first. And yes momma, there will be days like this but it’s really how you show up, right? That and the universe telling you that maybe some opportunities are just not the right fit for you. There’s something better around the corner.
I typically draft and publish this post before the close of the year with a long, laundry list of things I learned about myself and others. It’s quirky. It’s sarcastic. It’s authentic. And, it’s a nice summary of self growth and truisms about aging gracefully. (not just the physical kind)
And if you’re new here, you can read my 2021 learnings here. It’s an annual thing!